Occasional Dreamer

Sacrifices

It started last Sunday, but it was not even directly related to the service. During prayer time, I felt that the Lord was asking me to give something up, but I could not tell what. My automatic response was to say "Okay, God. I'll stop doing [insert list of things I do], and just read my Bible for a week.", but God said back, "I don't want your actions, I want your time.". I was a little perplexed by this; I need a specific list of do's and don't's; I need rules. This time, God just wanted me to listen to him.

Giving up Facebook seemed like an obvious thing to do; that is the cliche first step of holiness in modern Christianity.* But at the very start of the week, a non-Christian friend that I don't even know in real life started talking to me, and I was able give him a clear Gospel message, and spend many hours having a deep conversation with him about the authority of scripture, and the deity of Jesus! He has not placed his faith in Jesus as his Savior, but the seed was planted, and I am sure we will speak more in the future. The rest of the week I found encouragement every day through Facebook messages from my friends!

Next item to come up was video games. Many times have I witnessed to others (That is how I me the aforementioned dude), and had fellowship with believers while gaming. I believe that video games can be used by God just like any other sport or activity. But when I asked God if I could just write it off completely for a week, the answer was a clear "Yes.". Finally, something concrete!

Now for the toughie. Sports are "my thing". I love sports. My favourite sport is volleyball. Facebook can be classified as neutral, and video games often are plain bad, but volleyball is something I see as an inherently good thing. Especially since I (almost) always play at churches, or Christian functions.
Early in the week, I excitedly realized that volleyball was back on at my usual place, after a 2 week break. Since I was looking for ways to give my time to God, it occured to me to sacrifice volleyball to God, but I immediately thought "Not volleyball, God! It's fellowship (forsake not the gathering), Excercise (steward of my 'temple'), and it's my favourite thing to do!". I knew right there that it was a high place it my heart that I was keeping from God. I had to give it to him.

It was surprisingly easy to give it to God. I think the more we trust him with, the easier it is to trust him. When Thursday (VBday) rolled around, I was a little tempted to give in and blame craziness for my rash decision, but I had made myself accountable through Facebook to a friend, and I had to go through with it; I would intentionally miss volleyball for the first time since I was 12. The reaction from my family when I mentioned I would not be attending only showed me how much everyone saw me and volleyball, rather than God and I.

On Fridays, I usually play some more relaxed volleyball at a homeschool event my family has been attending since I was 6 or so. But this time, I did not even take clothes for volleyball. God had replaced my love of volleyball with a love for him and his Word. I don't think God was telling me to give up my Friday VB, but it was a testament of his power in my life that I was not dying for VB. I plan to continue playing VB in the future, but I also pray that if it, or any other thing take preference in my life, that God would take it from me.

Summary of Week

1. Some things, God does not want us to give up, simply to let him use for his purpose rather than for funny pictures, addictive games, and poking.
(God used Facebook as a tool to reach others, and encourage me.)

2. Some things, God wants us to cut away, either temporarily, or permanently, and spend our time more wisely
(Anytime I knew I would usually be gaming, I spent extra time in the Bible.)

3. Some things, are good things, on which we spend time and energy that God would have us give to him.
(Thursday night the sacrifice was greatest, and God was very near all night; every word of the Bible was living and meaningful)

It was a week of learning to hear God. I believe that God used the week to prepare me for something that he has probably been trying to show me for a long time. Something I would still refuse to allow myself to see, if it wasn't for last week. Something he showed me on Saturday.

Saturday's Lesson

I am not a visionary. I don't make a habit of planning far onto the future. I tend to be depressed by the idea of the future. Growing old, people dying, people leaving, friendships fading; bleh.

Every now and then, however; I get a dream. Something I want for the rest of my life. Recently, I discovered a dream that I had.I have been working toward this dream; creating achievable goals, praying about it, planning for it. Saturday, however, I saw this dream threatened. It looked like my dream would be replaced with something that would bring much glory to God, but I responded by telling God that it meant too much to me to give it up. I was instantly sickened in my heart. The Holy Spirit said to me "Who are you, to say that this aspect of your Earthly life is more important than God's will?".

I had given some actions to God. I had given some time to God. But I had not given my life, my future, my dreams to God. I was broken. I knew what God wanted of me, but still I could not give it. My thoughts were going a million different directions.

Then God spoke to me: "What have I showed you this week?". I looked at how God let me keep some things, but only when I gave them to him; he took some things, but gave me peace; and he changed my heart on other things, so I could commune with him.

Now, I could pray "Lord, take my life, my future, every dream I dare to have, and whether You let me have them, whether you take them from me, or whether you change them completely, I give them all to you. Do with this life what you will, and though you slay me, yet will I praise thee."


I believe that God used last week to change my life.
I did not attend any revival meetings.
I did not attend any conferences.
I did not go on a mission trip.
I did not read a great book about life changing stuff.
I did not make a list of things I had to give up.
What I did, was give my time to God.

*I am not hating on those that choose to quit Facebook. Quitting Facebook can be a very good thing that God wants for an individual. It could also be a pharisaical act meant to get attention. It's the heart that matters, not the action.