Conviction

 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."

At the end of tonight's service, dad (pastor) told everyone to study the start of Romans 12 for next week. As I was going over the first two verses, I was thinking about some ways that the Lord has been dealing with me in those areas, and was somewhat pleased with myself for being "not too bad".

Then I got to verse 3, and realized I was definitely thinking highly of myself. That prompted me to go back over the verses, and look for ways I was falling short, rather than how I was "not too bad". There were lots of them. So much for that.

At this point in the evening, a friend of mine popped up on Facebook chat. After we talked for a while, the conversation turned to a camp that I have been praying about counseling at, that he has counseled at in the past. While looking over a referral thingy, he asked me what his two greatest weaknesses were (a question on the referral). Some answers came to mind, and I knew that they did because they were problems in my own life (Matthew 5). About the time I sent my reply, it occurred to me that the question was probably asking about personality weaknesses; not character flaws (oops).

I then asked him what my two greatest weaknesses are. I told him I would write down what I thought they were, and we could compare notes. 2 minutes went by without him replying. I smiled. Then I frowned and wrote "1. Pride". There's Romans 12:3 again. Without much more thought I came up with "Ingratatude", but that is just a form of pride so I put down "timidity" also.

By now he had finished: "1. I tend to try to manipulate others indirectly through circumstances." My inner politician is showing. "2. I tend to follow along with the prevailing idea imposed upon you by your surroundings." I am impressionable.  True again.

I was feeling pretty convicted about my whole life at this point, when I decided to go back and read today's Psalms.

"O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.

Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.

My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O LORD, how long?

Return, O LORD, deliver my soul"

God, in his mercy, is making himself plain to me one again. He does not want me to ignore my faults, but he wants me to give them to him! I am weak, but God will deliver my soul!

I serve a god who does not demand perfection from me; He creates perfection in me.