This is simply because I feel like if I post something on my blog, it will be easier to post something else.
An old poem that I composed:
When I Try To Write,
I Can't Do It Well.
My Words Aren't Right,
I Really Can't Spell.
My Meter's All Wrong,
My Rhyming Is Bad,
My Flow Isn't Strong,
And My Stories Are Sad.
I Am Not A Bard;
I Am Not The Best,
But I Will Try Hard,
And Lose To The Rest.
For An Ending Note:
I Hate Writing Verse;
When I Am A Poet,
I'll Be In A Hearse.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Monday, November 25, 2013
When Ye Pray
I was reading through Luke's book, and reached his recording of what we know as the Lord's Prayer; It is pretty much the same as Mathew tells it, but it was different enough to catch my eye.
The Lord's Prayer is something that I learned when I was a wee kid, I've heard hundreds of times, and sat through a dozen sermons on, but I have never really studied it out for myself. Although I've always known that it was so, I was amazed at how much more there was then just a poem to repeat. I'm sure none of this is new, but I feel like it is what the Lord wanted me to share, so I'll try to scrape the top of this iceberg of learning.
This is an oft overlooked step in my prayer life. I have always seen this as the intro to a prayer; approaching God with respect when we pray, but I think it means a bit more. It means acknowledging that God is infinitely more than me. When I place myself utterly beneath God, it creates a reliance of God, and helps me find faith in God. This may seem like an obvious thing, I was surprised at the perspective change, when I started applying this in my life; the things that seemed monumental to me, now look tiny in the hands of the creator of the universe.
This is a prayer that must permeate every part of my prayer and life. It's not just part of a prayer (although it can be that, too); it is the core of everything I ask. When I don't preface my requests with seeking God's will, I will almost always be disappointed with the outcome, and be unhappy with God, for not giving me my will. As I seek God's will, and he makes it my desire, I find every other need does not matter to me at all, and I all that matters is whether or not God is glorified through my life.
This is the proverbial bread and butter of the modern Christians prayer. This is the part that comes naturally to anybody that thinks there may be a God in Heaven. Provision encompasses everything from providing food, to providing knowledge, to providing direction.
Most of my prayer on a daily basis falls into this category (followed closely by the next category), but it is the humility from step one, and the faith from step two that give us the perspective to ask for what God wants us to have. How often I go to the Lord in prayer, and ask for something that I would never have considered, had I truly wanted God's will in my life.
Also, Jesus did not say "give us this day enough bread to provide for my family and keep this ministry going and to give me security and peace", he said "daily bread". Don't think that just because you can see a need in the future, and don't have the means to deal with it that God is not providing; he may be waiting 'til a time when he will receive the glory for meeting the need, or he may be teaching patience, or maybe he wants you to see that the "need" is really a "want". The point is (to both me, and whoever reads), that we should not go whining to God for months on end about everything, but rather seek his face about it, do your part of being a steward of this life, and trust him to take care of it. :)
No matter how good life is going, how many hours I am spending in the Bible each day, how many people I have reached with the Gospel, I can always find something to confess to God. The times that it seems I can't, I am usually displaying pride, and self-righteousness. We all have the old flesh with which to deal, and each time we pray ought to be a time of self-examination.
Where sin abounds, Grace does much more abound. God does not allow us to be tempted above that we are able. He has made a way of escape. All that we have to do is ask, and he will pour out his grace for situations we don't even know exist yet. You may have heard that "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" before, but believe me, it is much much easier to ask for protection than forgiveness.
Notes: this is not a magic formula for reaching God's emergency phone line; it is simply what I see as elements of what God's wants when we pray. :) I know I may have stretched the headings a little, but I was enjoying alliterating. I don't think these are set in any particular order.
The Lord's Prayer is something that I learned when I was a wee kid, I've heard hundreds of times, and sat through a dozen sermons on, but I have never really studied it out for myself. Although I've always known that it was so, I was amazed at how much more there was then just a poem to repeat. I'm sure none of this is new, but I feel like it is what the Lord wanted me to share, so I'll try to scrape the top of this iceberg of learning.
Recognize God's holiness
"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name."
This is an oft overlooked step in my prayer life. I have always seen this as the intro to a prayer; approaching God with respect when we pray, but I think it means a bit more. It means acknowledging that God is infinitely more than me. When I place myself utterly beneath God, it creates a reliance of God, and helps me find faith in God. This may seem like an obvious thing, I was surprised at the perspective change, when I started applying this in my life; the things that seemed monumental to me, now look tiny in the hands of the creator of the universe.
Rest in God's will
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth."
This is a prayer that must permeate every part of my prayer and life. It's not just part of a prayer (although it can be that, too); it is the core of everything I ask. When I don't preface my requests with seeking God's will, I will almost always be disappointed with the outcome, and be unhappy with God, for not giving me my will. As I seek God's will, and he makes it my desire, I find every other need does not matter to me at all, and I all that matters is whether or not God is glorified through my life.
Request provision
"Give us day by day our daily bread."
This is the proverbial bread and butter of the modern Christians prayer. This is the part that comes naturally to anybody that thinks there may be a God in Heaven. Provision encompasses everything from providing food, to providing knowledge, to providing direction.
Most of my prayer on a daily basis falls into this category (followed closely by the next category), but it is the humility from step one, and the faith from step two that give us the perspective to ask for what God wants us to have. How often I go to the Lord in prayer, and ask for something that I would never have considered, had I truly wanted God's will in my life.
Also, Jesus did not say "give us this day enough bread to provide for my family and keep this ministry going and to give me security and peace", he said "daily bread". Don't think that just because you can see a need in the future, and don't have the means to deal with it that God is not providing; he may be waiting 'til a time when he will receive the glory for meeting the need, or he may be teaching patience, or maybe he wants you to see that the "need" is really a "want". The point is (to both me, and whoever reads), that we should not go whining to God for months on end about everything, but rather seek his face about it, do your part of being a steward of this life, and trust him to take care of it. :)
Repent of our sins
"And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us."
No matter how good life is going, how many hours I am spending in the Bible each day, how many people I have reached with the Gospel, I can always find something to confess to God. The times that it seems I can't, I am usually displaying pride, and self-righteousness. We all have the old flesh with which to deal, and each time we pray ought to be a time of self-examination.
Realize his grace
"lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil."
Where sin abounds, Grace does much more abound. God does not allow us to be tempted above that we are able. He has made a way of escape. All that we have to do is ask, and he will pour out his grace for situations we don't even know exist yet. You may have heard that "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" before, but believe me, it is much much easier to ask for protection than forgiveness.
Notes: this is not a magic formula for reaching God's emergency phone line; it is simply what I see as elements of what God's wants when we pray. :) I know I may have stretched the headings a little, but I was enjoying alliterating. I don't think these are set in any particular order.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Occasional Dreamer
Sacrifices
It started last Sunday, but it was not even directly related to the service. During prayer time, I felt that the Lord was asking me to give something up, but I could not tell what. My automatic response was to say "Okay, God. I'll stop doing [insert list of things I do], and just read my Bible for a week.", but God said back, "I don't want your actions, I want your time.". I was a little perplexed by this; I need a specific list of do's and don't's; I need rules. This time, God just wanted me to listen to him.
Giving up Facebook seemed like an obvious thing to do; that is the cliche first step of holiness in modern Christianity.* But at the very start of the week, a non-Christian friend that I don't even know in real life started talking to me, and I was able give him a clear Gospel message, and spend many hours having a deep conversation with him about the authority of scripture, and the deity of Jesus! He has not placed his faith in Jesus as his Savior, but the seed was planted, and I am sure we will speak more in the future. The rest of the week I found encouragement every day through Facebook messages from my friends!
Next item to come up was video games. Many times have I witnessed to others (That is how I me the aforementioned dude), and had fellowship with believers while gaming. I believe that video games can be used by God just like any other sport or activity. But when I asked God if I could just write it off completely for a week, the answer was a clear "Yes.". Finally, something concrete!
Now for the toughie. Sports are "my thing". I love sports. My favourite sport is volleyball. Facebook can be classified as neutral, and video games often are plain bad, but volleyball is something I see as an inherently good thing. Especially since I (almost) always play at churches, or Christian functions.
Early in the week, I excitedly realized that volleyball was back on at my usual place, after a 2 week break. Since I was looking for ways to give my time to God, it occured to me to sacrifice volleyball to God, but I immediately thought "Not volleyball, God! It's fellowship (forsake not the gathering), Excercise (steward of my 'temple'), and it's my favourite thing to do!". I knew right there that it was a high place it my heart that I was keeping from God. I had to give it to him.
It was surprisingly easy to give it to God. I think the more we trust him with, the easier it is to trust him. When Thursday (VBday) rolled around, I was a little tempted to give in and blame craziness for my rash decision, but I had made myself accountable through Facebook to a friend, and I had to go through with it; I would intentionally miss volleyball for the first time since I was 12. The reaction from my family when I mentioned I would not be attending only showed me how much everyone saw me and volleyball, rather than God and I.
On Fridays, I usually play some more relaxed volleyball at a homeschool event my family has been attending since I was 6 or so. But this time, I did not even take clothes for volleyball. God had replaced my love of volleyball with a love for him and his Word. I don't think God was telling me to give up my Friday VB, but it was a testament of his power in my life that I was not dying for VB. I plan to continue playing VB in the future, but I also pray that if it, or any other thing take preference in my life, that God would take it from me.
Summary of Week
1. Some things, God does not want us to give up, simply to let him use for his purpose rather than for funny pictures, addictive games, and poking.
(God used Facebook as a tool to reach others, and encourage me.)
2. Some things, God wants us to cut away, either temporarily, or permanently, and spend our time more wisely
(Anytime I knew I would usually be gaming, I spent extra time in the Bible.)
3. Some things, are good things, on which we spend time and energy that God would have us give to him.
(Thursday night the sacrifice was greatest, and God was very near all night; every word of the Bible was living and meaningful)
It was a week of learning to hear God. I believe that God used the week to prepare me for something that he has probably been trying to show me for a long time. Something I would still refuse to allow myself to see, if it wasn't for last week. Something he showed me on Saturday.
Saturday's Lesson
I am not a visionary. I don't make a habit of planning far onto the future. I tend to be depressed by the idea of the future. Growing old, people dying, people leaving, friendships fading; bleh.
Every now and then, however; I get a dream. Something I want for the rest of my life. Recently, I discovered a dream that I had.I have been working toward this dream; creating achievable goals, praying about it, planning for it. Saturday, however, I saw this dream threatened. It looked like my dream would be replaced with something that would bring much glory to God, but I responded by telling God that it meant too much to me to give it up. I was instantly sickened in my heart. The Holy Spirit said to me "Who are you, to say that this aspect of your Earthly life is more important than God's will?".
I had given some actions to God. I had given some time to God. But I had not given my life, my future, my dreams to God. I was broken. I knew what God wanted of me, but still I could not give it. My thoughts were going a million different directions.
Then God spoke to me: "What have I showed you this week?". I looked at how God let me keep some things, but only when I gave them to him; he took some things, but gave me peace; and he changed my heart on other things, so I could commune with him.
Now, I could pray "Lord, take my life, my future, every dream I dare to have, and whether You let me have them, whether you take them from me, or whether you change them completely, I give them all to you. Do with this life what you will, and though you slay me, yet will I praise thee."
I believe that God used last week to change my life.
I did not attend any revival meetings.
I did not attend any conferences.
I did not go on a mission trip.
I did not read a great book about life changing stuff.
I did not make a list of things I had to give up.
What I did, was give my time to God.
*I am not hating on those that choose to quit Facebook. Quitting Facebook can be a very good thing that God wants for an individual. It could also be a pharisaical act meant to get attention. It's the heart that matters, not the action.
It started last Sunday, but it was not even directly related to the service. During prayer time, I felt that the Lord was asking me to give something up, but I could not tell what. My automatic response was to say "Okay, God. I'll stop doing [insert list of things I do], and just read my Bible for a week.", but God said back, "I don't want your actions, I want your time.". I was a little perplexed by this; I need a specific list of do's and don't's; I need rules. This time, God just wanted me to listen to him.
Giving up Facebook seemed like an obvious thing to do; that is the cliche first step of holiness in modern Christianity.* But at the very start of the week, a non-Christian friend that I don't even know in real life started talking to me, and I was able give him a clear Gospel message, and spend many hours having a deep conversation with him about the authority of scripture, and the deity of Jesus! He has not placed his faith in Jesus as his Savior, but the seed was planted, and I am sure we will speak more in the future. The rest of the week I found encouragement every day through Facebook messages from my friends!
Next item to come up was video games. Many times have I witnessed to others (That is how I me the aforementioned dude), and had fellowship with believers while gaming. I believe that video games can be used by God just like any other sport or activity. But when I asked God if I could just write it off completely for a week, the answer was a clear "Yes.". Finally, something concrete!
Now for the toughie. Sports are "my thing". I love sports. My favourite sport is volleyball. Facebook can be classified as neutral, and video games often are plain bad, but volleyball is something I see as an inherently good thing. Especially since I (almost) always play at churches, or Christian functions.
Early in the week, I excitedly realized that volleyball was back on at my usual place, after a 2 week break. Since I was looking for ways to give my time to God, it occured to me to sacrifice volleyball to God, but I immediately thought "Not volleyball, God! It's fellowship (forsake not the gathering), Excercise (steward of my 'temple'), and it's my favourite thing to do!". I knew right there that it was a high place it my heart that I was keeping from God. I had to give it to him.
It was surprisingly easy to give it to God. I think the more we trust him with, the easier it is to trust him. When Thursday (VBday) rolled around, I was a little tempted to give in and blame craziness for my rash decision, but I had made myself accountable through Facebook to a friend, and I had to go through with it; I would intentionally miss volleyball for the first time since I was 12. The reaction from my family when I mentioned I would not be attending only showed me how much everyone saw me and volleyball, rather than God and I.
On Fridays, I usually play some more relaxed volleyball at a homeschool event my family has been attending since I was 6 or so. But this time, I did not even take clothes for volleyball. God had replaced my love of volleyball with a love for him and his Word. I don't think God was telling me to give up my Friday VB, but it was a testament of his power in my life that I was not dying for VB. I plan to continue playing VB in the future, but I also pray that if it, or any other thing take preference in my life, that God would take it from me.
Summary of Week
1. Some things, God does not want us to give up, simply to let him use for his purpose rather than for funny pictures, addictive games, and poking.
(God used Facebook as a tool to reach others, and encourage me.)
2. Some things, God wants us to cut away, either temporarily, or permanently, and spend our time more wisely
(Anytime I knew I would usually be gaming, I spent extra time in the Bible.)
3. Some things, are good things, on which we spend time and energy that God would have us give to him.
(Thursday night the sacrifice was greatest, and God was very near all night; every word of the Bible was living and meaningful)
It was a week of learning to hear God. I believe that God used the week to prepare me for something that he has probably been trying to show me for a long time. Something I would still refuse to allow myself to see, if it wasn't for last week. Something he showed me on Saturday.
Saturday's Lesson
I am not a visionary. I don't make a habit of planning far onto the future. I tend to be depressed by the idea of the future. Growing old, people dying, people leaving, friendships fading; bleh.
Every now and then, however; I get a dream. Something I want for the rest of my life. Recently, I discovered a dream that I had.I have been working toward this dream; creating achievable goals, praying about it, planning for it. Saturday, however, I saw this dream threatened. It looked like my dream would be replaced with something that would bring much glory to God, but I responded by telling God that it meant too much to me to give it up. I was instantly sickened in my heart. The Holy Spirit said to me "Who are you, to say that this aspect of your Earthly life is more important than God's will?".
I had given some actions to God. I had given some time to God. But I had not given my life, my future, my dreams to God. I was broken. I knew what God wanted of me, but still I could not give it. My thoughts were going a million different directions.
Then God spoke to me: "What have I showed you this week?". I looked at how God let me keep some things, but only when I gave them to him; he took some things, but gave me peace; and he changed my heart on other things, so I could commune with him.
Now, I could pray "Lord, take my life, my future, every dream I dare to have, and whether You let me have them, whether you take them from me, or whether you change them completely, I give them all to you. Do with this life what you will, and though you slay me, yet will I praise thee."
I believe that God used last week to change my life.
I did not attend any revival meetings.
I did not attend any conferences.
I did not go on a mission trip.
I did not read a great book about life changing stuff.
I did not make a list of things I had to give up.
What I did, was give my time to God.
*I am not hating on those that choose to quit Facebook. Quitting Facebook can be a very good thing that God wants for an individual. It could also be a pharisaical act meant to get attention. It's the heart that matters, not the action.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Decisions...
"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."
As a single, unemployed, non collegiate, 20 year old male; I am facing a lot of decisions in all those areas (excepting of course my age). I am not anxious, or discontent about any of it; but I am definitely unsure about pretty much all of it. I have tried to use my authorities to sift out some options and make choices easier for me, but I am uncharacteristically empowered to make my own decisions these days (looks like it's time for Micah to grow a backbone).
Job 1 has better advancement potential, and job 2 would look great on a resume...
But job 3 pays more, and job 4 is closer to home...
Could I work job 5 while doing job 2 or 4?
Here's the bottom line: I am trying to use my 20 year old intellect to figure out what's best for me. Everything is wrong with that picture: despite what I like to think, my intellect is pretty limited at 20; and what's best for me doesn't matter anyway!
As I read through Psalm 37 this evening every other verse seemed to demand a reliance on God for success. This is an elementary fact, but I still need to be reminded.
If I commit my way to God, and actually trust him what ever comes; He will bring it to pass, and I can rejoice in what he does with my life even if it's the last choice I would have, in my lack of wisdom, made for myself.
Thank you God, for showing me just what I needed to see...
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way."
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Conviction
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
Then I got to verse 3, and realized I was definitely thinking highly of myself. That prompted me to go back over the verses, and look for ways I was falling short, rather than how I was "not too bad". There were lots of them. So much for that.
At this point in the evening, a friend of mine popped up on Facebook chat. After we talked for a while, the conversation turned to a camp that I have been praying about counseling at, that he has counseled at in the past. While looking over a referral thingy, he asked me what his two greatest weaknesses were (a question on the referral). Some answers came to mind, and I knew that they did because they were problems in my own life (Matthew 5). About the time I sent my reply, it occurred to me that the question was probably asking about personality weaknesses; not character flaws (oops).
I then asked him what my two greatest weaknesses are. I told him I would write down what I thought they were, and we could compare notes. 2 minutes went by without him replying. I smiled. Then I frowned and wrote "1. Pride". There's Romans 12:3 again. Without much more thought I came up with "Ingratatude", but that is just a form of pride so I put down "timidity" also.
By now he had finished: "1. I tend to try to manipulate others indirectly through circumstances." My inner politician is showing. "2. I tend to follow along with the prevailing idea imposed upon you by your surroundings." I am impressionable. True again.
I was feeling pretty convicted about my whole life at this point, when I decided to go back and read today's Psalms.
"O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O LORD, how long?
Return, O LORD, deliver my soul"
I serve a god who does not demand perfection from me; He creates perfection in me.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Stillness
"Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah."
I enjoy music. I like singing. I like playing my violin, or guitar; even plunking around on the piano. Like every other person on the planet, I enjoy listening to music. I think music is one of God's greatest creations; a means of reminding us of God's love, conveying our praise, or learning deep doctrinal truths. I may be guilty of spending as much time in my hymnal as in the Bible itself.
I am almost always awake long after everyone else goes to sleep. I lay on my covers with my Bible, hymnal, and computer open; keeping an eye on Facebook while researching heaps of random stuff on Wikipedia, Looking up verses that come to mind, and mentally singing hymns. When the person I am chatting with realizes it's 2 a.m., and that night's rival pokes his last; I close my laptop, and devote the last hour of my day to fellowship with my Savior; the soft waves of a Capella hymns still quietly washing over my ear drums.
My main playlist on Spotify is mostly Christian, with some classical and bluegrass. I mix it up every so often; keep it fresh. I also have a playlist with 300+ of my favourite group's songs that I always use at night. A couple weeks ago, my ear buds breathed their last, and I had to live my life without a constant stream of music.
I closed my laptop that evening and turned my attention to my Bible. Every word had new meaning. I would never have seen that music as a distraction from God's voice, until he took it from me. I read of God's peace while experiencing as clearly I ever will this side of heaven.
It was still.
I stood in awe.
"The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace"
The Meaning of Life
"Because thy loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee" Psalm 63:3
"Greater love hath no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friend" John 15:13
"whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." Matthew 16:25
Today it I realized that I can make the choice to lay down my life for Christ today.
It was a startling revelation. I have always seen losing your life as this special calling that very few even get the opportunity to do. Here in the modern age of tolerance, you may lose your job, lose your friends, even be jailed or fined, we are very rarely required to die for the faith.
But my life is more than cognizance and breathing; it is what I do, and who I am. It is the everyday. We say "get a life" or "that guy has no life" about living breathing people, because of their activities (or lack thereof), not based on whether their heart is beating.
When I apply that perspective to some verses, they take on a whole new meaning:
'Because God's lovingkindness is better than anything I do, my lips shall praise him.'
'I can't have greater love than to give up everything I am for the greatest friend: Jesus Christ.'
'whoever removes every innocent, but unprofitable distraction from their lives shall find me'
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me"
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